A GENTLE MAN WAS ME............

BOB UPTH NORTH, a gentle man, with loving in his heart,
came across a lonely maiden, sitting on a cart.
He wooed and crooned, this fair young maid, she didn't stand a chance, he held her hand, and kissed her neck, and placed her in a trance.
She felt the heat raise up her face, a blooming maid she be,
but oh so hot, a moment more, when hand went on her knee.

'How dare you Sir', she said to him, eyes closed, to slap his face,
but bob upth north, a nifty man, had gone without a trace.
The maiden looked around for him, but nowhere to be found,
where did he go?, the maiden thought, has he gone underground?
She looked and looked forbob upth north, along the lonely track,
but having seen no sign of him, decided to go back.

A mile or so along the track, the maiden stopped to rest,
It wasn't long, before she found, a hand upon her breast.
For bob was waiting near the tree, the maiden chose to stop,
and waited till she closed her eyes, before he touched her top.
'You dreadful man', the maiden said, to bob, with smiling face,
but as she tried to raise her hand, he'd gone without a trace.

'One day i'll get you bob upth north, the maiden shouted out,
but then a smile came on her face, which gave the maiden doubt.
That bob upth north, the wicked man, my breast, his hand, did place,
without the chance to scold bob, had gone without a trace.
Again the maiden started home, and looking to and fore,
she wandered down the lonely track, she'd often walked before.

Around the bend a little on, the maiden shocked to see,
thatbob upth north, was laying down, against an apple tree.
'Oh dear', she said, that bob, has something in his eye,
but as she tried to help bob, a hand caressed her thigh.
The maiden, shocked, and glowing red, a smile upon her face,
but as she went to kissbob upth north, he's gone without a trace.

bob,bob, the maiden cried, a slap was not for you,
for I can think of better things, that you and I can do.
'Oh please bob upth north, return to me, I hold you in my heart,
and further more, I need your strength, to help me pull my cart'.
Around the bend, the maiden went, to see if bob would be,
found laying down, upon the ground, against an apple tree.


But once again, the maiden found, that bob was not in sight,
so sat herself, upon the ground and thought about her plight.
'It seems as though he doesn't care', the maiden thought, all sad,
to think that I have known bob upth north since he was but a lad.
I wonder if he will return, and help me with my cart,
and for a gesture, kind to me, will surely give my heart.

As darkness fell, the maiden sat, and closed her eyes to sleep,
whilst using visions of bob, in place of counting sheep.
But as she slept, she felt a chill, but warmth was in the air,
was someone sitting next to me, should open eyes, I dare?
She found the strength, to open them, and slowly looked around,
and shocked to find, that bob upth north, was sat upon the ground.

'Oh my bob, you surely did, give this poor maid a fright,
for I did fear, without your help, would need to spend the night'.
bob upth north looked at the maid, a glint came in his eye,
he gazed upon the maidens neck, her breast, and then her thigh.
The maiden felt a searing heat, start rising to her face,
but found as buttons, she undid, he'd gone without a trace.

For pity sake, she cried, bob, frustration do you bring,
to this young maiden, with the thought, of giving in, to sin.
The maiden stood and stamped her feet, her hair, she pulled with zest,
then once again, she felt the warmth, of hand upon her breast.
She turned around, this smiling maid, to see the eyes and face,
but once again,bob had left, he'd gone without a trace.

This is the end, she shouted out,bob upth north, you make me mad,
I want to give myself to you, but still you leave me sad.
To hatch a plan, the maiden thought, of keeping bob to hand,
I'll hide behind the apple tree, so he can't see, but land.
And when he comes to torment me, will lock him in embrace,
my strength is back, my will is strong, my thighs are like a safe.

So quietly, the maiden sat, her back against the tree,
making sure of quietness, unless bob would flee.
She heard a foot, step on a twig, her heart began to race,
I have you now, she thought bob upth north, her heart a faster pace.
And as he walked around the tree, she pulled him to the earth,
and now bob upth north, it's time for me, to show you what i'm worth.

A warm embrace ensued from then, the maiden had succumb,
and bob, was all hers now, as he lay, feeling numb.
She got bob, into the church, a finger with a ring,
a bouncing baby, on her knee, a song in heart to sing.
The moral of this little tale, with pleasure kept apart,
are things a maiden has to do, for bob to pull her cart.

The moral of this story is, If you see a woman struggling with a barrow or a cart, tell her to piss off........

Sounds fair enough